NOTHING gets my blood pumping, and imagination running, like a hot discussion of 401(k) plans. So here goes.

A few weeks ago, Conning & Company saw fit to put out a press release telling the world of a ''New Role Emerging for 401(k) Providers.'' You may not have heard of Conning, but it is -- the release says -- ''one of the largest asset managers specializing in insurance company investments in the United States,'' as well as ''a nationally respected provider of research publications on the insurance industry.''

Despite Conning's unfortunate name, I have no reason to doubt its claims. Those are not the kind of honors one makes up.

Anyway, the release touched on the debate now festering in Washington about whether companies should be offering investment advice to their employees in their 401(k) retirement plans. The impetus for the debate, of course, is the Collapse of Enron, the most dastardly event in the history of business. As you may be aware, the Collapse of Enron left hundreds -- maybe thousands -- of upper-middle-class people out of work for weeks, if not months.

Some even lost their pools.

Most unfortunately, Enron's plunge into bankruptcy court also cost many of its rank-and-file employees their savings. They believed in Enron and placed all, or most, of their 401(k) savings in its stock.

Their plight prompted Conning to commission a study of 401(k) plans. It found that ''in the wake of Enron's apparent demise and the loss of retirement funds suffered by many companies' employees, the need for investment advice is growing.'' When did an investment adviser ever find otherwise?

The release went on to suggest that the insurers -- Conning's clients -- that run 401(k) plans ''have an opportunity now to increase their business'' by offering more advice to the employees in those plans.

After all, Washington is pressing companies to educate their employees on investment issues -- and it may even try to force them.

But the press release failed to answer a crucial question: Who in the name of all that is good would want financial advice from an insurance company? Insurance companies have managed to miss every financial trend of the last two generations, which is why Hartford, the home of much of the insurance industry , is such a bustling metropolis today.

The only insurance company that has shown the slightest streak of innovation in the last 30 years was the Equity Funding Corporation. The Equity Funding Corporation was a fraud. Insurance is such a good business that Citigroup just got out of it.

On the other hand, if the financial companies that run the 401(k) plans are not allowed to give advice to the participants, workers may be left receiving tips from their employers, as Washington prefers, and with predictable results.

Imagine a scene at Enron headquarters, September 2001:

Jeffrey K. Skilling stands before a group of Enron employees, while Andrew S. Fastow sits at a nearby desk, riffling through stacks of $100 bills. The words ''Today's Discussion: Your 401(k). Who Needs It Anyway?'' are written in red Magic Marker on a white board behind Mr. Skilling.

An employee raises her hand. ''Mr. Skilling, Mr. Fastow, how much of my retirement account should I invest in Enron stock?''

''Oh, I'd say 90, maybe 95 percent. Andy, any ideas?''

''Don't bother me. I'm counting my money.''

''But isn't that risky, Mr. Skilling? What if the stock goes down?''

''Down? Don't be such a sissy. Go out there and buy some stock. In fact, I've got some shares I could sell you right now.''

On second thought, this scene is too depressing to contemplate. So here's a better idea. Instead of depending on companies or insurers to help employees manage 401(k)'s, let workers get advice directly from Congress and the White House. After all, politicians on both sides of the aisle have had amazing success as investors over the years. No asset class seems immune from their magic.

TRADERS of oil, gas and pork bellies could be advised by Hillary Rodham Clinton, commodities investor extraordinaire: ''My secret: The Wall Street Journal.''